I returned to blogging to document the process that is going to save my life. It will be a long journey and I wanted to join those online that have already undergone it or are contemplating it.

Gastric bypass surgery is something that I have known that I needed to do for about 5 years now. However, I was fearful of the risks of surgery as well as not being able to admit to myself that I couldn't handle losing the weight on my own.

If I had to pinpoint the moment in time I realized that I needed to deal with this now, it was when my father died last May. He had been an alcoholic for over a decade and had only become sober a few years before his death. The damage to his body was enormous and he hastened his own death through his excesses with booze. He would still be alive today were it not for the abuse that he inflicted on himself. I don't want to hasten my own death by remaining overweight. I don't want for my body to become beyond repair because I did not seek help before it is too late. I want to learn from the mistakes that cost my father his life before it was his time to go.

So, next Monday morning I will be submitting to rounds of testing - psychological and physiological - in preparation to have the surgery. I will meet with a psychiatrist, nutritionist and nurse to chart the best course for me to take in becoming healthier and happier. They will measure my current physical and emotional state to prepare me for the day when I will finally regain control of my body after a long struggle to do it on my own without success.

After having already taken the first step when I attended an orientation session for Weight Loss Surgery at Methodist Hospital on January 9th, I am excited and quite anxious to take a more active step forward in what I know is the best decision I could have made.

The doctor that will be handling my surgery was referred to me by a co-worker. She had her surgery over 5 years ago and has had nothing but glowing things to say about Dr. Davis. And when I attended the orientation session, she was one of the success stories that he used to show what is on the other side of this journey. But in all the times that we have had these discussions what I did not know was that the doctor and his son, also a weight loss surgeon, were part of a television show called Big Medicine on TLC. It is now in its second season and Discovery Health is airing the first season's episodes. I have been TiVoing both seasons and getting a real feel for their personalities and it has made me even more comfortable with my choice to go ahead with the gastric bypass operation.